Yetunde Oladeinde

Like the saying, grass greener where you water, things get better in a relationship where you play your part well. A lot of people admire hearts that have been watered by others, thinking that it all happened by chance. That is not usually the case.

The saying interestingly comes from the idea of looking at a neighbours lawn and seeing it as better looking, healthier and overall greener than your own. It actually shows that a lot of hard work had been put in place and the outcome of the dedication and perseverance by the owner of the emotional lawn has indeed paid off.

On the other hand, the reality in many relationships is the fact that partners expect so much and get disappointed when their expectations are not met. Great hearts on the other hand are people who give in so much and yet have expectations that are reasonable; things that their partner can do and have the capacity to do. This way, their emotional investments get greener and by the time they turn around to take stock, everything falls in place beautifully. Those who do not water their emotional tree end up having withered affection. All they do is argue, complain and see nothing good in the hearts they were meant to love, cherish and adore. In confusion and frustration, their sweethearts cannot flourish; they also get hostile and things would certainly fall apart.

Here the hearts concerned would keep on ignoring anything negative.

Gbenga has been in and out of four relationships, in less than a year. He kept on admiring his best friends girlfriend wishing he could get someone as smart and trendy as she was. When I told my friend the reasons I broke up with the girl, he smiled and told me that his girl wasnt as perfect as I thought she was. He was actually the one that had been making up for her inadequacies. He honestly never looked at it that way and now he understands that the emotional grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

Friend#2: Are you serious? Ive always envied you. People expect so much out of me. Ive never been able to have a life because of studying and other schoolwork. If I get less than an A, people freak out like I got an F. I may accomplish that much, but with all the pressure on me Ill probably be insane by the time Im 35. In so many ways, I wish I could just be a regular guy with normal expectations and a normal life.

David has just ended his four-year-old relationship with Jessica. He gave that relationship everything he had but somehow the heart in question did not appreciate and value the efforts that he was putting into the relationship. Initially, he didnt mind because he imagined that the babe in question was just playing hard to get. However, things got to a point where he just couldnt take it anymore. He discovered that his sweetheart was hanging out with another buddy and always arrived at her doorstep around midnight. She just did not know that I was monitoring her and I waited for the right time to tell her the stuff that she was made up.

Remorseful? No she wasnt. Instead, she threw the garbage back in my court. What exactly is the matter with you? You go out with your friends and nobody says anything about it? You refuse to pick my calls on a number of occasions and you expect me to sit and wait for you, Mr. Prince charming?

Wasnt it better to iron out the emotional difference at this point? For Gods sake, when will these double standard stop. No, I dont think that you are the type of guy that I am looking for. I do not want a man that would give me heartaches, please just go away. I am sick and tired of this relationship.